Ticket Void if Scratched

I confess
I'm impressed by your killing stare
the clothes you wear the bunches in your hair
What can I do to get a girl like you
when I've spared expense with my incence
and my fashion sense is a disgrace

I'm heir apparant King of the unattached
The Crown Prince of loneliness
Ticket void if scratched

I wouldn't see an opportunity
If the Lord Mayor introduced her
and she kicked me in the ass
I'm a hypochondriac in an anorak
I take madicals and chemicals
to combat nothing wrong
My inheritance is Earl of the detached
I'm bequeathed to hopelessness
Ticket void if scratched

Bull in a china shop I'm coming ready or not
I'm awkward, clumsy, gawky
Hope you're gracious in defeat

It appears my heritage is Duke of the mismatched
I accede to emptiness
Ticket void if scratched